Have you heard the phrase, ‘Love is Blind’? In a relationship, you only see what you want to see, but if there are instances in which you think to yourself that the relationship you are in should not be that way, that is already a flag of an unhealthy relationship.

To define the term unhealthy or toxic [not a big fan of the word since it has more of a vulgar tone to it] we first have to look at what a healthy relationship looks like. I am no relationship counselor or therapist by any means, but the following are basic things that we all know.

1. Trust: the biggest thing in a relationship is trust, being able to trust this person unconditionally with anything. If there is no trust between the two of you, then there will always be arguments brought up. Now, if the trust is broken, that’s even worse. The person who stayed trustworthy will always have their walls up on the person who broke their trust.
2. Communication: knowing how to communicate how you feel when certain things come up, helps build a better bond. At the same time, the other person will know how they feel and work together to find a solution, instead of fighting with each other.
3. Loyalty: this should not even be a reminder to anyone. Your partner should be the only person you have eyes for, and if you find yourself having other thoughts when meeting other people then please be honest and leave the relationship. But do not play with someone’s feelings just so you know which person is for you.
4. Friendship: the core of a relationship is being each other’s best friends. They should be your go to person to tell anything and everything with. Where you can be your true and unfiltered self and they love you for it. If you have to hide a certain part of yourself or just be a whole different person with someone, then that person is not for you.
5. Support: being together does not mean your personal goals have to align. Supporting each other with their goals, being their number one supporter for them to achieve their personal goal. Your partner should be adding value and support to the relationship. As their best friend and significant other you should want them to be happy, be who they are, and follow their passions/dreams instead of bringing them down.

If it has been something re-occurring for a long time, and it seems like a never ending cycle; then you have to make the right decision. Not only for you, but also for the other person. Why hurt yourself more going through all that pain and suffering when you both could find happiness somewhere else? It will be hard, I get that, but I know that you are strong enough to overcome it and you will.